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Break-Up Tunnel Vision Infinity is a series of dances cycling between Lima, OH and NYC, where my hope to break out of tunnel vision imposed by social media, only left me clear-eyed in an atmosphere of real life hatred, rising fascist sentiments and the people fighting to stop them. These dances are a search for meaning in a splintered American reality that has become increasingly fractured since I began it. In 2019, I returned to my conservative birthplace to create a dance. With four NYC dancers originally from the Midwest, for one hour, they danced with scored improvisation to throbbing industrial techno, sincere competition dance moves, a familial reckoning, and a quiet moment of solitude. This first edition was a return to my roots, to see why there was growing support for far-right politics beyond my virtual perspective and to remember that I was from here too.
The 2nd edition flourished in NYC, as part of Dance and Process at the Kitchen in 2021. With the same four dancers, Toni Carlson, of Viola, Minnesota, Avery Anthony, of Columbus, Ohio, Laurel Atwell of Bainbridge, Ohio, and Charles Gowin of Hallsville, Missouri and with variations on the 6 parts that make up the dance, we preformed this edition in a refurbished warehouse in Queens. Like myself, the project began in Ohio and moved to and grew within NYC.
I made plans to create a 3rd and final dance of the series back in Lima, to complete the hero's journey of the piece. But, despite residing in Lima for 2.5 months in the summer of 2023, I was unable to make meaningful connections to present the work and this final dance slipped through my fingers unrealized. I did my best to participate in the community and local arts organizations, but something had changed. I was looking for those who were like myself, only to find them missing among those who had left Lima, OH already to freer places. I had hoped I could break through what I thought was a digital divide, but there was no breaking through. The tea party radicals had morphed into anti-maskers who then morphed into anti-trans bathroom crusaders actively attacking school board members in Elida, a township outside Lima. The energy of the community was in the crowds demanding the school break the law or face a school levy defeat. Those who did not agree with this were gathering in a secret Facebook group for open-minded people called Lima [redacted] because “[redacted] are rare… and so are liberals in the Lima area. This group was formed to cultivate a safe community where local left leaning individuals can discuss current events… and enjoy like minded company.” The darkness I had only glimpsed from afar was now extremely close, delusional and active.
I left the third dance behind with no place to exist within the Lima city limits, represented as a hole. To move forward and finish the project, I'm working now on the Nth and final edition to premiere in NYC. The nth number is an unknown and infinitely high real number, a reference to the very last digit in a series. It is my desire to reach the end of something that seems to be going on endlessly, to break the fever of fascism, for the emergence of consequences for clearly bad actors, and to end this project so I can move on to the next one, to the future.
